Being in a long distance relationship, there are times when a giant wave of longing inundates me and it would always be at random moments like cleaning my guinea pig’s home, when I’m planning out my week, or when I’m taking a shower. Whenever this wave hits, talking to S is never quite enough to settle me down. In Sarah Kay’s words,
“It is hard to build a body out of words.
I have tried. We have both tried.”
So I daydream; I plan our next meet up even though we’re both too busy and too broke to see each other. I can’t count how many excel files in my computer there are with details of our future trips. But we know it’s not going to happen soon. Not this year and not even the next. Our priorities won’t allow it. It sounds like a terrible situation to be in but if I look at the bigger picture, these are sacrifices we need to make to fulfill our plans of closing the distance. We’re saving our money for more important things like our visa application, English tests, financial requirements, etc.
But the fact remains that I miss S.